Another day, another story about people being warned by medical professionals not to put things not designed for genitals on/up their genitals.
We've had women warned not to steam their vaginas after one woman got second-degree burns on her cervix, or put vagina exfoliators up there. Meanwhile men, please don't ram tweezers up your penis or, oh god, inject them with "foreign substances" to make them bigger.
Now to that plethora of "please for the love of Christ stop" stories we add people putting toothpaste, a product very much designed for teeth, on their johnsons and yonis.
Doctors are warning that you shouldn't use toothpaste to "tighten" your vagina, whilst men are being warned not to put toothpaste on their penises for even more spurious reasons.
A doctor in Nigeria said that the harmful myth had become an obsession for some women in the country, and warned that it can cause inflammation, irritation, and even infertility.
“Toothpaste is caustic and too abrasive for a sensitive body part like the vagina and using such on it can destroy the organisms meant to protect the vagina from possible infections," Dr Oluwole Yusuf told PM News Nigeria.
“When the vagina can no longer protect itself, the body is prone to infections which could later destroy the tubes and block the chances of getting pregnant."
He went on to say that women shouldn't be "body shamed" by their partners into partaking in dangerous practices.
“If a man tells you that you are too loose down there and you want to ruin your future because of that, he will eventually leave you for another. Be confident in yourself and allow your body to be the way it is."
Now, onto the men.
Men, it would appear, have been putting toothpaste on their penises in a misguided attempt to delay ejaculation. The advice, which has been circulating the Internet in recent months, has been popularized by "home remedies" YouTuber Jose Barber, according to The Metro.
The video advises putting "affordable, cheap toothpaste" on the glans of the penis in order to numb it, promising that it will make your partner "surprised [...] you are so hard or so long-lasting".
Of course, you should not do this nor believe the claims.
“I’d urge anyone thinking of trying this rather worrying ‘toothpaste’ technique to cease and desist – because it won’t do anything at all to combat premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, despite the claims being made in these videos,” one medical expert told OZFM.
“The peppermint oils and other chemicals in toothpaste, including bleaching agents, can be extremely irritating to sensitive skin, by putting it on your genitals you actually risk a mild burn, as well as blisters and scarring. And toothpaste should in no way be used as a lubricant, either.”
There are also myths that toothpaste inserted into the vagina before sex prevents pregnancy, which we can only imagine emerged because the tubes look a bit similar to tubes of spermicide in the dark. For clarity: No it will not do that, toothpaste is for cleaning teeth.