Who'd have thought that going into the deep, dark, monster-filled ocean with nothing to keep you alive but some floppy shoes and a tank of breath would be so terrifying?
Yes, if a thread on Reddit is to be believed, the reality of scuba diving can be a lot creepier than Disney has had you believe. Rather than encounters with singing Jamaican crabs that want you to find love, you are more likely to get rammed by turtles or have a horrifying encounter with a moray.
For the large part, they're tales of the kinds of animals you don't want to meet down there. Some of the "stranger" stories we're going to put down to nitrogen narcosis, a temporary change in consciousness caused by breathing in nitrogen at high pressure.
You weren't here before
"I was diving off the Florence, OR coast with some friends and we found a body on the ocean floor in the creepiest condition possible. He was a surfer who'd gone missing a few days prior so he wore a wet suit with his legs, arms, and head exposed. Crabs had eaten the flesh from his exposed bits so basically he was a torso with a skull and skeletal limbs," Reddit user pteam-pterodactyl wrote, before explaining that this was not his creepiest dive.
When an eel rams your side, makes you poop, makes you cry, that's a moray
When an eel stalks your ride, eats your food on the sly, that's a moray
Some animals are just jerks
When a body – say, from an accident – is out at sea and sinks to the bottom of the ocean, it is quickly set upon by scavengers. Scavengers like crustaceans are lazy feeders and will prefer to tackle the softer parts of the body than the tough gristly bits. In humans, the soft parts include our wrists, which are mainly soft tissue and ligaments. Chew away at this, and the hand will detach pretty quickly, and float away on their own adventures.
"Just curious about how I tasted"
A freighter ship passing over ahead
Ok, this one wasn't in the thread, but holy mother of god.
The cave of nopes
Do not poke the bags
Tuna: much faster outside of tins
Fancy seeing you here
Check out the rest of the (excellent) thread on Reddit.