We've asked you to please stop putting parsley up your vagina and kissing hedgehogs but this next request might just be the weirdest:
People, please stop putting glitter on your dog's testicles.
In the latest trend that needs to die immediately, pet owners are covering their dogs' balls in glitter for reasons unfathomable to the dogs and just about everyone else. The source of the idea appears to be a dog grooming company on Facebook, who posted a picture of their sparkly dog testicles.
Perhaps strangest of all, they did this in January, a month after the testicles would have been festive.
People are largely horrified by the idea, mainly because it is innately horrifying to dip your dog's testicles in glitter. However, there are some fans, including one person who asked "Is this only available for dogs? Asking for a friend."
Others commented "that's bordering on animal molestation" and "this is animal abuse."
"Good GOD!!! What the HELL is wrong with people!?!?!?! Beyond STUPID!!!" another person exclaimed.
Valo and Liam, the dogs sporting the glitter, were safe according to the creator of the post, as the glitter is edible cake glitter and held in place with corn syrup. However, it's probably not the most comfortable thing for the dogs to have any kind of syrup smothered on their testicles, and we really wouldn't recommend you try it.
People are quite concerned about what would happen if the dogs were, as dogs often do, to attempt to lick their testicles.
"There's no such thing as 'edible' glitter. It's known as disco dust and it's 'non-toxic', to be used only as decoration only," one cake artist wrote on Facebook. "It's non-toxic because it's used in bakery, so that if you eat a little it won't be harmful, but you aren't actually supposed to eat it (or lick it, in this case).
"Furthermore, even non-toxic make-up asks you to make a scratch test to see if you have a rash or allergies before applying a new product."
Vets have posted the photos expressing that they really aren't keen on the idea either.
Battersea Dogs & Cats Home condemned the idea.
"Owners have a duty of care to look after their pets responsibly in ways which don’t threaten their welfare," a spokesperson told Metro. "Battersea would not encourage anyone to dye or adorn their dog in any way that threatens the animal’s health."
Please. For us. Just stop.