There's nothing more reassuring than your city, unprompted, telling you what to do in the event of a nuclear war.
That's why anyone in New York City must be going through some extreme comfort right now, as the NYC Emergency Management department has put out a video telling you what to do in event of "the big one" going off in or near the city.
"New York City Emergency Management has a multitude of free resources for New Yorkers to prepare for emergencies, including no-notice events," New York City Emergency Management Commissioner Zach Iscol said in a statement. "As the threat landscape continues to evolve, it is important that New Yorkers know we are preparing for any imminent threats and are providing them with the resources they need to stay safe and informed."
So, what can you do in the event that "the big one" hits? The NYC video breaks it down into three simple steps.
"Get inside, fast," the host explains. "You, your friends, your family... get inside. And no, staying in the car is not an option. You need to get into a building and move away from the windows".
"Stay inside. Shut all doors and windows. Have a basement? Head there. If you don't have one, get as far into the middle of the building as possible. If you were outside after the blast, get clean immediately."
At this point, you should bag all outer clothing in order to keep radioactive material away from you and anyone nearby. Though not in the video, we would thoroughly recommend not using conditioner on your hair. As the federal government advises, the conditioner will “bind radioactive material to your hair, keeping it from rinsing out". And anyway, if there's one advantage to a nuclear war it's that people will not really expect you to look fantastic.
"Stay tuned," the video concludes, and "follow media for more information".
Let's hope it's advice you never have to follow.