A hamster is living his best life and crushing the self-esteem of traders everywhere, buying and selling cryptocurrency better than even professional financial investors. Named Mr Goxx, this little hamster has been deciding which crypto to buy, when to buy, and when to sell, and since June 12th. He is now up an impressive 19 percent profit – that’s more successful than the S&P 500.  

If you're confused, let us explain. Mr Goxx is a hamster owned by an anonymous duo that has an "office" rigged for him to make decisions by standard movements. First, Mr Goxx exercises on a hamster wheel, and the resting position dictates which cryptocurrency shall be traded. Next, Mr Goxx enters one of two tunnels, labeled "buy" and "sell".  

This sounds unlikely to be successful, but the duo had faith, and so gave the hamster €390 (~$450) to trade with. Soon, Mr Goxx was buying and selling a variety of crypto, with his favorites being Cardano, XRP, and Tron. As of September 27, he is up 19.41 percent, down slightly from Friday when he was boasting an impressive 24 percent profit.  

The duo behind the trading empire post his decisions to Mr Goxx’s Twitter account and subreddit, but they are very clear – this hamster is not financial advice. Considering the volatility and popularity of crypto, that does actually need to be said. 

Unfortunately, despite being a trading wizard, Mr Goxx is keeping his tricks close to his chest and refuses to spill his secrets. However, the hamster does livestream his shifts in the office over on Twitch if you wish to watch the magic happen.