Culture and Society
PUBLISHED
There’s a reason flirting is so often referred to as an art. The rules are vague, the approaches varied, and the beauty of it ultimately depends on the beholder.
That said, science has been able to identify behavioral patterns that – as a general rule – can be seen as indicators of attraction. Some of them can even be heard.
Body language means a lot of what we say isn’t coming out of our mouths, but even that which is said out loud can be greatly influenced by how we say it. In fact, just one key element can reveal a lot about someone’s feelings – and how we’re likely to feel about them.
Our voices can board the lyrical rollercoaster known as fundamental frequency, aka pitch, going from very low to very high. It comes up as early as our ABCs and only increases in importance from there on.
“Vocal communication is one of the most important human characteristics, and pitch is the most perceptually noticeable aspect of voice,” said professor of anthropology at Penn State David Puts in a release, co-author of a 2024 paper on pitch.
“Understanding how voice pitch influences social perceptions can help us understand social relationships more broadly, how we attain social status, how we evaluate others on social status and how we choose mates.”
Puts and colleagues put pitch to the test by playing the same recording of two men and two women to 3,100 participants from 22 countries. The clips were edited to alter pitch and then divided up to see which versions sounded more attractive, flirtatious, formidable, and prestigious.
The results revealed that a lower pitch was more appealing to both men and women in the context of who they would choose for a long-term relationship or marriage. It was also seen as more formidable and prestigious among men.
There were also some interesting observations about high pitch, which for men was perceived as more attractive for short-term relationships. Women also perceived high pitch as being more flirtatious and attractive to men but could perceive it as a threat if they came from a close-knit community.
It begs the question, are these changes in pitch mere coincidence? Or do some of us know what we're doing?
A 2018 paper looked at whether humans could exploit pitch as a means of wooing a mate.
To find out, they deployed microphones during a speed-dating event between 30 adult men and women and analyzed the recordings (as if the time pressure wasn’t enough to squash the romance) to see if there were detectable changes in pitch that matched up with their mate choice preferences and the desirability of each dating partner.
The results revealed that men lowered their pitch when speaking to women who were desired by other men. They also got low in response to women they liked, especially when the feeling was mutual.
Women, on the other hand, tended to use a higher voice when speaking to potential mates. However, they also went low when speaking with the men they most liked, and who were liked by other women.
So, it seems low is the way to go when trying to make your interests known (that is, unless you're here for a good time, not a long time). It also seems to be a decent indicator that someone is interested in you, too.
That’s not a green light to go smooching anyone with a gruff voice, mind you, and if the pitch seems imperfect you can always keep an eye out for another telltale sign...
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