Some ideas or propositions are just self-evidently bad. If someone asked you to bungee jump using a piece of string tied to your left big toe, or if they said you should skydive using not a parachute but a napkin, you’d rightly call them out as being mad.

Similarly, if someone said that you should perforate your penis with needles, you’d naturally wince and ask them what on Earth possessed them to let such a thought crystallize in their mind. Sadly, according to a report over at Men’s Health, this thought was transformed into action last week – a Chinese man was admitted to hospital after turning his tiny soldier into a bizarre form of pincushion.

Apparently, this rather unusual 35-year-old man, who inserted the needles into his urethra pinhead up, told doctors in Shenyang, Liaoning Province that he spent most of a year engaging in the rather grimace-inducing practice. He said that he hadn’t experienced any pain until recently, when he suddenly noticed his micro-member suddenly experienced extremely sharp bouts of agonizing stinging. He also spotted a fair bit of blood gushing out while urinating.

Using an X-ray, doctors found that the needles had lodged themselves into the membranous urethra – the shortest and one of the narrowest parts of the urethra as a whole. Over the next 90 minutes, all the needles were carefully removed during a rather novel operation, and remarkably, the patient is expected to make a full recovery.

Doctors explained that it’s likely the man did this to himself as a result of a rather niche fetish he had been harboring, possibly related to sadomasochism. Rather remarkably, the lead urologist saving the man from a broken urethra had said he had seen cases like this before, but instead of needles, pen refills and thermometers had also been used.

The science behind all this is clear: do not, under any circumstances, stick sharp objects into orifices from which they may never return. Not only will it be excruciatingly painful when things go awry, but your story will likely end up in the media ecosystem – just like this one.

This is not a legacy anyone wants to be saddled with.

[H/T: HauShuang Morning Post via Men’s Health]