A medical case study has been released and, well, it’s quite something.
As reported in the Irish Medical Journal, a man attempted to remedy his bad back by injecting himself with shots of his own semen. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work. As you might have guessed, however, it did leave him in quite a pickle with some nasty health complications. The man was lucky enough to make a prompt recovery, but, for the love of God, please don't try this at home.
After complaining of chronic pain in his lower back, the 33-year-old male turned to his own “alternative medicine” by injecting one monthly dose of semen into his forearm for 18 consecutive months using a hypodermic needle.
The inventive method left the man with a red swollen arm and a deep abscess, pooled with the semen and other nastiness. A blood test showed that the area had, unsurprisingly, become infected.
The doctors aren’t even sure where he got this idea from. They searched the obscure back alleys of the Internet for any mentions of the “treatment,” but to no avail. It seems this man was just ad-libbing his own alternative "medicine" based on no information.
“A search of more eclectic internet sites and forums found no other documentation of semen injection for back pain treatment or other uses,” Dr L Dunne, of Adelaide and Meath Hospital in Dublin, deadpans in the study.
“He had devised this “cure” independent of medical advice.”
Fortunately for this guy, he was given some immediate intravenous antimicrobial treatment and was discharged from the hospital shortly enough. His back pain even improved over the course of his stay in the hospital (although rest assured, it was nothing to do with the semen injections).
Strangely enough, this case study is actually serving the interest of science (kind of) since there is no other documentation of what effect injected semen has on the human body.
“Although there is a report of the effects of subcutaneous semen injection into rats and rabbits, there were no cases of intravenous semen injection into humans found across the literature,” said Dr Dunne.
Sure, it’s not vital information, but it’s always good to know.
A version of this article first appeared on 17 January 2019.