What do you use toothpaste for?
Most people would probably say keeping your teeth clean. Some might remember some advice they heard about using it to dry out pimples – others might use it to create new superbugs to destroy civilization. But for apparently millions of people, toothpaste has an altogether different use: boosting the size and shape of their breasts.
"White toothpaste [is] perfect for this treatment because it helps to shrink the pores, and it also helps to tighten up the skin," begins a YouTube video, viewed nearly 8 million times, that claims to "Tighten Sagging Breast In Just 5 Days Using Toothpaste No Jokes".
If that sounds suspiciously unscientific to you, there's probably a good reason for that. Toothpaste is typically made up of things like fluoride, abrasives like silica, detergents to make it foamy, and flavorings for that minty taste – none of which are famous for causing breast growth. On top of this, there's the fact that even most commercially available creams can't penetrate the skin's outer layer – meaning toothpaste is unlikely to be able to get all the way down to the breast tissue.
"Wait, what the hell?" dermatologist and associate clinical professor at Yale University Mona Gohara, MD replied to Marie Claire when asked about the toothpaste treatment.
"There is... no medical evidence that toothpaste or vaseline or any topical cream can increase collagen or elastin," she explained. "Otherwise, trust me – after baby number two, I would have been wearing Crest all day long."
That doesn't mean the miracle mammary medicine will definitely leave your tatas unaffected, however.
"Toothpaste can be an extreme skin irritant," explained Dr Gohara. By rubbing a paste designed for your teeth onto your skin, you risk conditions like rosacea, contact dermatitis, or even chemical burns.
Unfortunately, while magazines tout the benefits of certain bust-boosting exercises – and there's a lot to be said for a good bra (or even no bra at all) – ultimately, if you're unhappy with the size or shape of your breasts, your only real option is to learn to love what you've got. One thing you definitely shouldn't bother with is covering them in toothpaste.
Well, unless you want a minty-fresh décolletage for some reason.
In that case, go ahead.