The Vatican is holding a course to train priests in exorcisms, following an increase in demand for the ancient, nonsense practice of ridding people of "demons" trapped within them.
"The fight against the evil one, [which] started at the origin of the world, is destined to last until the end of the world," Father Cesare Truqui somewhat dramatically told Vatican News, announcing the conference.
"But today we are at a stage crucial in history: many Christians no longer believe in [the devil's] existence, few exorcists are appointed and there are no more young priests willing to learn the doctrine and practice of liberation of souls".
The conference, taking place this week, is being attended by 250 priests from all over the world.
The demand for exorcisms has increased worldwide in recent years, with as many as 500,000 people seeking exorcisms in Italy alone last year, the BBC reports. The reason why priests think there's an increase is, as you'd expect, completely off-the-wall insane.
“Demand is growing, absolutely,” Father Anthony Barratt, a priest in Albany, New York, told The Telegraph. “I think it is partly due to the Internet, which makes [Satan] so accessible. Films and television programmes are also a factor. There’s a fascination.”
The Internet is putting people in touch with Satan himself.
At the conference, the priests have been discussing ways to tackle the rise in demand for exorcisms, including expelling Satan from the "possessed" over the phone. In fact, it's a practice that is already taking place.
"Hi... Hi yep... Yeah put the demon on the phone, would you? Hi is that the demon? Hi yeah, this is Damien, the priest. Yeah, the power of Christ compels you. Sorry, this is a crackly line - I said the power of Christ compels you." Lisa S/Shutterstock
In order to perform the exorcism, priests read the Roman Ritual of Exorcism, made by Pope Leo XIII in 1884. It appears some priests have now decided that it's effective to perform these exorcisms through all major (and non-major) cellular networks.
“There are priests who carry out exorcisms on their mobile phones. That’s possible thanks to Jesus,” said Cardinal Ernest Simoni, according to the Catholic Herald.
As well as some of these strange announcements, the conference also highlights that a worrying amount of people still think demon possession is real.
UK statistics late last year showed that almost 1,500 child abuse cases were linked to occurrences of "witchcraft" and "demonic possession", with children being abused by adults trying to "expel" said demons.
Worryingly, it seems a lot of people are turning to churches rather than medical professionals when they experience symptoms.
“It’s only in recent years that the demand has risen exponentially,” one exorcist told The Irish Catholic.
“What I’m finding out desperately, is people who in their own minds believe – rightly or wrongly – that they’re afflicted by an evil spirit."
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