Culture and Society
PUBLISHED
A new scourge is sweeping the nation, according to some relationship experts. Many heterosexual women report taking on more emotional and social labor for their male partners who have fallen victim to the so-called "male loneliness epidemic," wracked by a dwindling social life and an ever-shrinking circle of friends.
What is mankeeping?
In the age of smartphones and remote work, the 21st century can be a lonely place, especially for men, who widely report having fewer close friendships and less emotional support than previous generations.
A survey in 2021 found that 15 percent of men in the US claim that they have no close friends in their life, compared to just 3 percent in 1990. Among those who did have friendships, the average circle has shrunk significantly over the past 30 or so years.
Similar, subtler trends are seen in women, but the decline is especially drastic for men.
As a result, women in heterosexual relationships are increasingly relied on to fill the gap left by their partners' shrinking friend groups. On top of the emotional support and advice that friends might once have offered, many end up as their partner's unpaid event planner, social secretary, and personal cheerleader-come-therapist.
The researchers at Stanford University who identified this phenomenon in 2024 called it "mankeeping."
Now, a team from Australia and the US has built on that work. In a new paper, they carried out two studies to develop and test a questionnaire that measures mankeeping.
Mankeeping and burnout
In the first study, 402 women from the US who had male partners were surveyed with a questionnaire to measure "mankeeping" by asking them how much emotional support they provide, how draining those actions are, and whether the effort feels unappreciated.
The results suggested women with higher mankeeping scores tended to report more depression, anxiety, and stress, along with feeling more burdened and burned out. They were also less satisfied with their relationships.
In the second study, the team asked 395 women in the UK with a smaller survey and reached very similar results.
None of this is meant to diminish the impact of the so-called "male loneliness epidemic" or to point the finger at men. Instead, the researchers suggest their work shows the issue is more nuanced and far-reaching than it appears at first glance.
“It is absolutely crucial to recognize that these results at the population level might not apply in the same way to the individual/couple level,” lead researcher Vincent Mancini told PsyPost.
“Romantic couples are incredibly diverse, not every man is lonely, nor does every woman need to engage in this process. This paper should also not take away from the importance of understanding loneliness as a population health issue, that all genders can experience,” Mancini added.
The study is published in the journal Sex Roles.
