If you're looking for a story to restore your faith in humanity, well, hate to break it to you, but this isn't it.
We've come so far as a civilization, from landing on the moon to reaching the deepest oceanic trenches. Yet, we continue to be stumped, surprised, and overwhelmed by the nuances of everyday life. Just check out this Twitter thread kicked off by writer Shannon Proudfoot, who courageously asked the world: "What's the most mundane but thunderous epiphany you ever had? Something so ridiculously dull or elementary that still bowled you over when you figured it out?"
Let's just say it launches off with some fairly remarkable – albeit embarrassing – realizations that we complex beings have had. Just try not to roll your eyes too hard.
First of all, was "your friend" ever responsible for the well-being of infants? If so, a few phone calls may be in order...
We're just going to let y'all sit on this one for a minute.
That's what she said?
Way to get all profound on us, @Stevie_Sez
I mean, is this really that common of knowledge? Maybe just for a word nerd.
Turns out you haven't been eating chicken fetuses in your scrambled eggs.
I mean, how many people can say they've honestly heard a donkey bray?
Right? Thunder is actually the sound lightning makes as it vibrates and echoes during a storm.
Because we're bound to have a few Trekkies following this thread.
Oh, honey. That would just be too American. To be fair, Mt. Rushmore is carved from granite, which is a naturally forming rock so – half-point credit?
Also, no. That's how #FakeNews gets started. To be fair, some soaps do work by releasing surface tension on the skin to "whisk" away bacteria, but anti-bacterial (see above) soaps do away with all the little cooties.
Omg. Words mean so many things.
Ugh. Kids make everything so much more meaningful. Be like kids.
That's why they call them pee-nuts! JK. But in all seriousness, someone, please get this kid an anatomy book.
We can only hope this is an inside joke, but to be clear, the moon is a natural satellite that definitely orbits the Earth over the course of 27.3 days.
You know, unless you believe Earth is flat.
They're not even a part of the same family. Wolverines are the largest of all Mustelidae, or weasels. On the other hand, wolves are canines.
As your shoe goes flying across the room.
Who was your elementary science teacher?!
And who was your history teacher? Seriously, we've got some phone calls to make.