That Enormous Black Sarcophagus Has Been Opened, And People Want To Do Something Really Disgusting


Dr. Alfredo Carpineti

Senior Staff Writer & Space Correspondent

clockJul 20 2018, 20:42 UTC

The contents of the black sarcophagus. Museum of Antiquities

The Egyptian black sarcophagus that has dominated social media for the last few weeks has finally been opened. Inside, archeologists found three skeletons and red-brown sewage water that apparently gave off a terrible stench. You can see pictures and read more information here. People might be disappointed that it doesn't contain alien technology or mysterious artifacts, though. Even more disappointed will be those who hoped that opening it would release an ancient curse upon the Earth. As it turns out, that curse is already here and it’s called “humans on the Internet”.

Innes McKendrick, a British video games producer, was so disappointed by the lack of a curse that he started a petition on website to drink the sewage water as a way to actuate the scourge that was promised upon mankind. At the time of writing, the petition has about 200 signatures. Apparently, there were some people in the world that thought that once the lid was removed, humanity would soon be wiped out by Egyptian deities.


The discovery of nothing supernatural was clearly a massive let down for many. So his petition tapped into that clear need for rebirth and renewal that only the apocalyptic destruction of our planet can bring. Afterall, in these uncertain times, we can find solace in the hope that the end will soon be upon us all. 

“I stand true to the hope we were promised, and deeply believe that by consuming the skeleton juice in the form of a carbonated high caffeine energy drink that we can still have the opportunity to enter an era of unending darkness and despair. I’m so glad to see others backing the petition, and sharing in my mission to rapidly bring about the end of all things,” McKendrick explained to the British newspaper Metro.

There is obviously a big issue with the petition. It is addressed to the King of Skeletons, Egypt. That assumes that the King can read English. It would have been better to address it to Egypt’s Supreme Council of Antiquities as they probably have the means to make it happen.


[H/T: Metro]