Archaeologists Discovered Three-Thousand-Year-Old Cheese And Everyone Is Making The Same Joke

Some regular, non-cursed, stock image cheese. barmalini/Shutterstock, @alisonwillmore

Katie Spalding 20 Aug 2018, 12:59

Hey, remember when archaeologists found that gigantic black sarcophagus last month in Egypt and everyone said opening it would lead to something terrible?

And then they were right, because it immediately released a wave of requests to drink the disgusting red sewage that was found inside, and literally tens of thousands of people signed a petition demanding to be given "the cursed mummy milkshake", preferably in the form of "some sort of carbonated energy drink".

Well, you may have also heard that the world's oldest cheese was recently excavated in an Egyptian tomb too.

Yeah, you probably know where this is going.

The cheese, described by its discoverers as a "whitish mass", is over 3,200 years old, was found in the Valley of the Dead, and contains bacteria that leaves animals dead and humans just wishing they were – making it not just unappetizing, but so obviously cursed it may as well come with its own copy of the Necronomicon. And yet...


Yes, of course people want to eat the diseased tomb cheese. It's 2018. That's just where humanity is right now, it turns out.

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