Update: It's all over, folks. The raccoon has been captured, and is currently enjoying a meal.
The world is watching. The fate of millions hang in the balance as a key summit tests the resolves of peoples and nations across the planet. The ultimate outcome remains uncertain, but one thing, above all, is clear: our lives will never be the same again.
What? No, we’re not talking about the Trump-Kim photo-op. We are, of course, talking about the raccoon that – at the time of writing – has climbed right to the top of a skyscraper in Minnesota.
As has been widely reported, people are extremely stressed out.
Worriers include Guardians of the Galaxy-director, James Gunn, whose predilection for sci-fi raccoons has led him to offer money to anyone that can safely get this little critter back down again.
The latest, according to BuzzFeed's genuinely thrilling live update piece is that the raccoon has made it to the top of the 23-storey UBS Center skyscraper in downtown St. Paul, after spending much of the day climbing up said building, with occasional, death-defying clambers back down.
It’s reported that cat food-laden humane traps left by the fire department await the raccoon on the roof, but at this point, it’s unclear if it’s been captured.
Either way, as you can tell by reactions on social media, things have been bum-clenchingly tense. Some have directed their panicky energy into making fan art.
The Guardian described the “daredevil” raccoon’s near-24 hours ordeal as “nail-biting.” Apparently the raccoon had already climbed up another nearby building and was safely removed, but it then proceeded to ask everyone to holds its beer and one-up itself.
Raccoons, as far as we’re aware, aren't prone to pretending to be Spiderman – although we have contacted an animal behavior expert to check, because science.