A doctor on TikTok has explained the most dangerous sexual positions, in terms of those that are most likely to land you in the hospital with penis fractures and other equally horrifying problems.
"This is the most dangerous sex position according to science and it's the cause of 50 percent of penile fractures," Dr Karan Raj explains in a video on TikTok.
"If there is any erratic thrusting or if the movements of the two parties are not in sync, it could lead to the male jabberwocky slipping out and be crushed by the female pubic bone."
The study he appears to be referring to is "Mechanisms Predisposing Penile Fracture and Long-Term Outcomes on Erectile and Voiding Functions", a title that makes us want to cross our legs. As for the position, he claims that it is reverse cowgirl that is the most dangerous position, and the result of all those broken penises. However, the study doesn't quite say that.
In the study – published in Advances in Urology – patients that presented at three emergency hospitals between 2000 and 2013 with suspected penis fractures were asked about symptoms, mechanism of the trauma, the sexual position they were in when it happened, as well as follow-up questions about their long-term "erectile and voiding functions" and whether they were "normal or abnormal".
Of the patients, over half "presented with the classical triad of an audible crack followed by detumescence and pain".
The study found that, of the penis fractures, heterosexual intercourse was the most common cause of the fracture (66.7 percent of the fractures seen), followed by penile-manipulation (14.3 percent) followed by homosexual intercourse (9.5 percent), with 9.5 percent preferring not to disclose how it happened.
Of those who had injured their penis during heterosexual intercourse, 50 percent happened while the woman was on top. We're not quite sure why Dr Raj believed it was specifically reverse cowgirl, but maybe there is a follow-up study that went into much more specifics about which way people were boning at the time of the injury, and it happened to be that reverse cowgirl has had some sort of massive resurgence in the interim.
Doggy style was the next most dangerous case, with 28.6 percent of patients reporting that they were in this position when they heard the only snap worse than that conducted by Thanos. 21.4 percent were on top themselves at the time.
Meanwhile, 92.9 percent of patients reported that they were having vaginal sex at the time of injury, and seven percent reporting anal.
In homosexual intercourse, half of the patients reported that their partner was on top, and half that they were doing doggy style. Again, no reference to reverse-cowboy here.
So, why is it that injuries are more likely when the woman is on top in heterosexual relationships?
"Our hypothesis is that when woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration, because the harm is usually minor in woman with no pain but major in the penis," the authors write in the study.
"On the contrary, when the man is controlling the movement, he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to the penis harm, minimizing it."
However, the team note that they can't be completely sure of the cause of the fractures, given the nature of the injury.
"Information concerning factors related to penile fracture is always obtained by the story that patients tell their doctors. Given the intimacy and taboos of patients’ sexual life, while one-fourth preferred to omit details, many patients might have been imprecise about the real truth."