There are elements of Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury so insane that if it was any year but 2018 you would think it was the plot to an episode of Veep, only more farcical. Now, the team at Botnik have decided to give it a spin on their writing tool. This is the very same AI bot that produced a hilarious (if sinister) parody of the Harry Potter books and attempted (and failed) to recreate the script of an average Scrubs episode.
The predictive keyboard was trained on extracts from the explosive exposé as well as McDonald’s menu items – a tribute to Trump's favorite fast-food chain. Let’s just say, things took a very surreal turn.
It begins with this classic opener.
“Trump’s first hundred days of being President were a toasted grilled vegetable medley of ketchup and indignation.” (Tasty.)
And quickly descends into absurdity.
“Trump believed that power was grown by combining the new dipping sauces to make them crazy and cool,” said one senior white working class womanizer with ketchup in his eye. “He liked to point out that he was officially the President of being poisoned by all the remarkable kinds of cheese in the world.”
Some of the “revelations” don’t seem so far-fetched considering certain claims in Wolff’s book.
“Whenever Trump wanted, he would command “Beef and a chief!” in his bathrobe, and his staff would have to get him a little bit of meat.”
Of course, Comey and Clinton make a cameo appearance.
“Then in early November, James Comey said, “One of Hillary Clinton’s restaurants in 1972 could have been a front for selling hot dogs to the press, but we have no facts.”
And there is even a reference to the Russia scandal.
“As the Russia investigators seemed to be a problem for Donald, he told Priebus to get 50 more chocolaty-chip cookies shaped like the White House to try to create confusion over which was the one with the President in it.”
The chapter (called "Beef and a Chief") also contains anecdotes of the President talking to a cheese-soaked beef patty, pretending to be a burrito, and condemning liberals for stealing his steakhouse secrets.
You can read more of it here.