In this divided world, only one thing can unite us. No, it's not the urgent need to fight climate change. No, it's not a need for nuclear disarmament, stop being so preachy. It's breaking into Area 51 in order to clap some alien ass.
The world has, for some reason, really come together behind the idea of storming Area 51. (If you don't know what's going on, check out this explainer and come back).
We even came up with and agreed on a plan: Whilst the Kyles go absolutely beserk on Monster Energy drink and the furries advance slowly towards the armed guards backed up by Karens, we slip in behind the base safely. At this point, we either "clap that alien ass" or break them out of there and clap it later at a more convenient time for everyone involved, that part at least we have not yet clarified. It's nice to leave some surprises for the day, I guess.
Well, the big day has finally arrived, and people have actually shown up to the two small towns just outside of Area 51 ready to storm it. So far so good. But clearly, nobody is going to actually attempt to break into an actual military base... right?
As well as the two YouTubers (of course) who were arrested last week, it appears that one woman has been detained so far, after attempting to cross the gate at around 3 am local time.
A second report says that another male was arrested at the same time, urinating nearby, whilst the woman tried to duck under the gate. So far, no details have been released on whether she attempted a Naruto run, which according to our best scientists (fine, Internet memes) would have allowed her to dodge bullets as well as arrest.
One man (or hero, whichever term you prefer) showed up behind a journalist from KTNV ActionK News covering the event earlier today and was seen Naruto running towards the military base, or at least the line of toilets set up for visitors. But, it's still early.
The locals are annoyed
The town of Rachel, the closest to Area 51, is not used to seeing so many visitors and is pleased that not many people have turned up, yet.
"So far we see a couple of hundred people in Rachel for the botched Alienstock event," says a statement on the town's website (we're not going to link to it, their town has a population of 54 people and so its site is likely not set up for large volumes of traffic).
"Law enforcement clearly outnumbers visitors."
They report that there are a few campervans set up around the area and a makeshift stage, though nothing too difficult to deal with as yet.
"This has very clearly become Fyre Fest 2.0 after the creator of the Storm Area 51 movement pulled out and the organizers started suing each other. We understand that the Area 51 Basecamp event in Hiko, on the other hand, is quite successful and people are having a great time."
Here's where it gets a bit threatening.
"If you still choose to visit this weekend, stay away from the residential part of Rachel. Local landowners will step up to protect their property. The nearby military installation will be guarded by Air Force security and by various local and federal law enforcement agencies. In order to keep curious visitors out of trouble law enforcement will block all access roads leading to the perimeter of the military base. Anyone trespassing in the restricted zone around Area 51 will be arrested.
"Do not go near the border, and absolutely do not cross the line. Along all major dirt roads, the border is marked with clear warning signs. In other areas, orange posts mark the border. There is no fence."
Polite warning from police
There appears to be a fairly heavy police presence so far, with cops posing for selfies and posting them online as a polite reminder that they're there.
The festival looks pretty fun. People have been dancing through the night and practicing their Naruto runs.
So far, it looks like everyone is just having a good time, and nothing has been attempted that will get any people (furries, rock-throwers or Karens) killed by the military. Phew.
There are several live streams around, though they drop in and out with limited signal. At the time of writing, these below are working, though we will update if that changes.