Bigfoot, Bitcoin, And Time Travel: The Pseudoscientific Credentials Of Trump's New Attorney General

Acting Attorney General Matthew G Whitaker. Douglas Graham/CQ Roll Call/Getty

Katie Spalding 15 Nov 2018, 10:33

Once upon a time, it would have been noteworthy, unusual even, for one news story to surface linking one of the highest offices in the land to a gigantic mythical ape-creature. Only in 2018 could we bring you two within three months.

In case you missed it, there’s a new Attorney General in town, and his name is Matthew Whitaker. Like so many in the Trump administration, he has a somewhat sketchy relationship with science, thanks mostly to his involvement with World Patent Marketing (WPM) – a company famous for a bizarre hot tub scam that eventually got it shut down.

So in finest IFLScience tradition, here’s a short rundown of some of the new Trump appointee’s scientific credentials. Buckle up kiddos, it’s gonna be a wild ride.

Bigfoot Lives!

We promised Bigfoot, and here it is: per the Washington Post, WPM claimed “DNA evidence collected in 2013 proves that Bigfoot does exist,” and Bigfoot is no more a myth than the (real, existing) giant squid.

In an admirable misunderstanding of the scientific method, the company asked: “How can it be possible that a creature who is described in so many different places from prehistory to the modern-day Sasquatch sightings does not exist?... There have been too many sightings over too many centuries for it to be a mere myth.”

How indeed?

Bitcoin-Based Time Travel

Yes, you read that right. Although waltzing to and fro along the timeline is theoretically possible, most scientists agree that fundamental physical laws get in its way.

But Dr Ronald Mallett is not most scientists. For nearly two decades, he has, apparently earnestly, been making headlines with claims about the feasibility of time travel and plans to build time machines.

Undeterred by criticisms such as “that’s not how physics works” and “this laser isn’t even on,” WPM welcomed him to their ranks in 2015 and swiftly started asking marks investors to fund his research with the planet-destroying and ever-shady cryptocurrency, Bitcoin.

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