North Korea Claim to Have Cured AIDS, MERS, Ebola and SARS

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Josh Davis 20 Jun 2015, 13:36

They’ve made miniature nuclear warheads, are in the midst of a baby boom of triplets, and now they’ve managed to cure AIDS — or so North Korea claims. And why stop there? According to the official Korean Central News Agency, their new drug also cures MERS, Ebola, and SARS.

Apparently, they’ve had the drug — called Kumdang-2 — for the past 23 years, but somehow failed to tell the rest of us. Well, thankfully for us all, they’re now imparting their knowledge and even giving us the chance to buy it ourselves. If you’re lucky enough to be living in Europe, you can get your hands on it from an official distributor in Russia for the not unreasonable price of $27.79 (£17.50).

According to the website set up for the drug, scientists in the authoritarian state have developed the drug from ginseng grown in “rare-earth molecular fertilizer,” and it contains “micro-quantities of gold and platinum.” It works as an anti-inflammatory, anti-bacterial, and anti-virus, absorbing and removing anything that has “not originally been in the human body.” Not only that, but apparently it also cures addiction. Can this wonder drug get any better?!  

As I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, this isn’t the first time North Korea has made outlandish claims. In 2006, they made a similar announcement about the same drug during both the 2006 and 2013 outbreaks of bird flu. It’s just a shame that North Korea can't also develop a drug that combats the tuberculosis that’s apparently rife in the country. Oh wait, that already exists.   

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