Claire Boucher, aka Grimes, creator of genre-fluid music (and girlfriend of Elon Musk), has revealed her training regimen to the world via the medium of Instagram. Following an announcement that the artist would front a new Adidas by Stella McCartney campaign, Grimes gave fans a glimpse into her daily workouts and health solutions.
“My training is a 360 approach,” her post begins. “I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to ‘astro-glide’ to other dimensions – past, present, and future.”
If you’re thinking “err… what?!”, don’t worry, so are we. As are members of the medical community.
She then goes on to talk about sword fighting, hiking, stretching, and screaming, before making another, even more bizarre claim.
“I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression.”
We're going to go ahead and assume that Grimes’ words are a joke, perhaps a satirical take on the extensive posts of Instagram’s health and fitness influencers, like the wellness guru who said he stares into the Sun, or Hollywood types like Mark Wahlberg, who shared his nightmare-inducing daily regime last year.
In fact, they almost certainly are. While blue light has been shown to damage the cells in our eyes, removing part of your eyeball is certainly not the way to combat it. Meanwhile, actual treatments for seasonal depression are a little less drastic than gluing an orange ultra-flex polymer (whatever the hell that may be) to your eyeballs, so we'd recommend sticking to those.
“The thing is I can’t tell which parts of this are serious and which aren’t,” one person commented.
“Can’t believe ur giving this info away for free,” joked another.
The final part of Grimes’ health regimen is a little more sensible, and perhaps even true.
“I go to bed with a humidifier on,” she matter-of-factly states.